the names have been changed to protect the innocent
the commune that invented the words 'polyfidelity' & 'compersion'
based in the Haight-Ashbury of San Francisco from 1971-1991
(polyfidelity n. fidelitous to many partners)
(compersion n. the opposite of jealousy, positive feelings
about your partner's other intimacies)
The Sleeping Schedule
While people were outwardly interested in 'Polyfidelity',
usually they were more interested in the mechanics of the balanced rotational Sleeping Schedule.
The most common questions were:
How did we decide who sleeps with whom each night?
We put all the women in the order of their chronological entrance into the family.
We put all the men in the order of their chronological entrance into the family.
We lined up the lists and you rotated down the list to the next person of the opposite sex every night.
We slept with a new person every night and you rarely if ever slept with the same person two nights in a row.
Someone made a list every night and assigned men to women to rooms. Most often the women slept in the same room each night,
and the men moved between rooms.
'Who are you on with?' and 'What room are you in?' were the big topics of conversation every night.
An example for a given week:
If the BFIC was unbalanced, and it almost always was with more women than men, the excess women had a 'Zero Night', where they had no partner.
The men and the Zero Nights rotated through the lists in the same order. If a person went away on a trip then their partner had a zero night, unless there was another zero night person
who you could be matched with. If many people were away then we just did a choose for partners.
Was sex mandatory when you were 'on' with someone?
Sex was not mandatory, but it was expected. Most people did have sex, as far as I know. If you weren't having sex with a certain someone then something was probably wrong in your dyad. Rotating partners every night is a sure way to feel like you should fuck this person who you
hadn't been with in several days.
What if you didn't want be 'on' with that person that night?
You were 'on' with that person. Not wanting to sleep with a person in your family was grounds for a divide and regroup (divorce).
If you didn't want to fuck them you just went to sleep.
Could you just spontaneously grab a person and find a room?
Yes. We called them 'freebies' because they didn't effect the schedule. Excessive 'freebies' - especially with the same person over and over,
was a sign of preferentiality, and therefore BAD!