| 47. | Medium Gestalt -
Conversations within the Gestalt-O-Rama process that focus on themes like Scientific Utopian Theory, philosophy, and other 'meaty' intellectually-stimulating subjects.
| All were happy and we were in a fine medium gestalt during the car trip. |
| 51. | Metamessage -
Besides the actual words a person uses, there are often other things being expressed through phraseology, body language, tone of voice, and other subtle indicators.
Being aware of this in gestalt is very important.
| Your words convey worry and disappointment, but your tone and body language indicate the metamessage is anger and jealousy. |
| 52. | Momism -
The fixation of a parent (fathers can be into it as well as mothers) on her/his child or children as the center of her/his life. This kind of attachment results in a confusion
of ego-boundaries (the parent will take things that happens to the child, or that the child does, personally), and may also involve negative emotions such as possessiveness,
jealousy, (if the child grows close to other adults) and unhealthy psychic dependencies. Adults into serious Momism will have a hard time building strong bonds with other adults
or children other than their own; children who absorb it tend to develop bratty qualities.
| She's into Momism. She is always defending her child from anyone's input, but she doesnt hesitate to criticize the other children. |
| 53. | Multiple Parenting -
The practice of raising children within a communal setting in which all of the adults identify with being parents of the children, regardless of blood connection,
and take part in the child-rearing process.
| All utopian children will become mentally-healthy, balanced, and self-actualized individuals - because of the many consistent role-models in multiple parenting. |
| 54. | Negative Intrigue -
Any of a variety of overt or below-the-surface interpersonal dynamics which are based upon some form of inequality and the absence of friendly cooperation.
Jealousy, rivalry, envy, grudges, preferentiality (in a situation where nonpreferentiality is the normal state of affairs), resentment and possessiveness are examples of
the kinds of negative emotions that underlie negative intrigue. It is very detrimental to healthy relations and communal well-being.
| She badmoutheed me to steal my boyfriend and lied to my face about it. That girl is a world-class negative-intrigue generator. |
| 55. | NEM -
Stands for 'Nonviolent Episodic Malfunction'. Everyone has a nervous condition of one kind or another. In some cases, this manifests from time to time in some form of irrational behavior,
that is not the person's normal operating style, but is characteristic of her/his obnoxious subpersonalities - for instance, a heavy round of defensiveness upon recieving negative input
or an outburst of macho irritability. NEMS do have a beginning, middle, and end, after which the person normally comes back to center, and sees what she/he was doing before.
Anything involving violent behavior would be a VEM, outside the line of Keristan life. (The only VEMs that have occurred in the Keristant lifespace have been committed by young children.)
| Little Jonny had a NEM this morning because we were out of Cheerios. |
| 57. | Neurosis -
A nervous condition caused by unaligned subpersonalities which causes an individual to have difficulty, at least at times, holding a steady course.
| We have great sex, but her neurosis is that she is too self-absorbed. I don't think I can handle it for a lifetime run. |
| 59. | Nookie-centered -
A very common syndrome, in which a person is primarily concerned with finding or keeping a sexual connect, and behaves in such a way as to indicate that everything else is
secondary to that.
| He switched from 'die-hard non-monogamous' to 'get-married-in-a-church' right after she did a nude massage. He is too nookie-centered for the commune. |
| 60. | Non-clinical Schizophrenia -
A syndrome in which an individual undergoes a rapid or radical switch in her/his primary self-image and identity, with little or no intention or planning behind it.
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| 61. | Nose Job (Also, Nose Syndrome) -
A behavioral pattern that is best illustrated by this story: In a little stetl (Jewish village) in old Russia lived a family with a lovely daughter of marriageable age.
The family was well-off, and there was only one bachelor in the village they deemed appropriate for the match. So, they called in the matchmaker to see if it could be arranged.
The matchmaker approached the man with the idea. He said he would go for it on one condition: that he could see the young woman naked first. The matchmaker
was shocked and said this was unheard of, but he was firm and so she went back to the family with the news.
They too were shocked, but finally, considering that the girl had a flawless figure and that care could be taken that no one else would ever know,
a chaperone would be present, and so forth, they agreed. The appointment was set up. When it was over, as he was leaving, the matchmaker approached the bachelor.
'Nu - ?' ('So - ?') she asked.
'It's no deal,' he said.
'What!' cried the matchmaker, 'What was wrong?'
'It's the nose,' he answered. 'I don't like her nose.'
Thus, 'doing a nose job' means building someone up with the promise of acceptance, and then turning off or changing your mind for a reason that is not new input
but was known all along ... usually an indicator of other underlying motives and, at least, an uncentered personality.
| She flirted outrageously with him for a week to seduce him - but then did a Nose Job, and said he had bad breath. |
| 62. | Nurtch -
An interaction or exchange between people which has some element of friction or poor communcation in it. It is not serious enough to become a bonafide gestalt, mainly because all of those involved become sensitized
to the situation before it gets blown up into anything heavier, and put the effort out to talk through what happened and clear up the any miscommunication. This process has the net effect of being a positive growth experience,
which is nurturing to building good relationships, from which the term is derived. (We picked this up from a fellow we met in Santa Cruz.)
| We had a nurtch after I told him we weren't taking any peanut-butter to Venture. He was slimy. |
| 63. | Nut Job -
Someone who is mentally eccentric or nutty to some degree. Most nut jobs are 'harmless nut jobs', and in some cases, 'loveable nut jobs'.. they aren't into anything harmful to others and may have endearing qualities, yet are too
neurotic or eccentric to get close to anyone.
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| 65. | Open Lifestyle -
Any of a variety of erotic preferences in which sexual realtinships are carried on wihtout an agreed upon fidelity bond, and usually, without a current intention of lifetime involvement.
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| 66. | The Other Side -
Fritz Perls said you could never really get to know a person until you'd seen her/his 'other side'. Sometimes it takes a while, but it is inevitably true: everyone has subpersonalities that are at the opposite end of the spectrum
from their usual pleasant selves. Until you have seen it in someone and experienced what it is like to work on it and deal with it, you can't know for sure whether living with the person is something that will work.
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| 70. | Pentacost -
A time when large mergers take place between B-FICs, and the spirit of optimistic schmaltz is heavy in the air.
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| 71. | PDH - Post Depression High -
After hitting a low point of some kind, whether paranoia, anxiety, or some kind of stressful interaction, there is often a feeling of mild elation as one comes back up again.
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| 72. | PHD - Post High Depression -
Sometimes the opposite of PDH is true.
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| 73. | Plastic Shield -
The nervous condition of some people manifests itself in a certain subtle formality, a reserve, a withholding from emotional involvement.
This prevents optimal closeness and trust from being developed.
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| 74. | Points -
The merciless reality of physical beauty exists. Some people rank high in physical points and are exquisitely beautiful; most people are average looking;
some are on the low end of the point range.
Inner beauty helps, but Keristans maintain that beauty is not only skin deep, people who deny that they notice,
and are not effected by other people's looks are bluffing and will probably be even more attracted by it as a consequence.
Everyone has to determine for her/himself how to relate to her/his own, and other people's, physical appearance in order to have peace of mind.
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| 66. | Polyfidelity -
The erotic preference and family style of Keristans, which includes multiple relationships within a fidelitous family cluster,
the use of a balanced rotational sleeping schedule, nonpreferentiality among partners, and a current intention of lifetime involvement.
The word was coined after earlier phrases (non-promisuous polygamy, wholesome non-monogamy) proved too clumsy and imprecise.
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